My Carrel Window

from I by Blasé Blue

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lyrics

Not sure if my heart's in
Degree chasing anymore
In my private carrel
Draft an outline for dropping out
I wrestle my prospectus
Academic expressions
Stare out my carrel window
Draft an outline for jumping out

I don't know my own writing anymore
My thoughts don't fit into footnotes or Chicago
I don't want to be another patch of plaster
On the false phallic facade

Eight years, self-obsession
Eight years, self-destruction

In the back of my mind
I've already dropped out
I've given up
on the malnourishment of my muse
My mind, it grows
In a different soil
Than the sods of class rooms
There's a lack of love in stiff rows

Too many moods
that don't bleed through
Institutional veins
There's blood clots on my tracks
A life too broad
To squeeze into
A narrow tenure track

Eight years, self-obsessions
Eight years, self-destruction

Is dropping out the same as copping out?
Is giving up the same as giving up?
Is disillusion the same as bruising?
Is this degree the cost of losing me?

Eight years, self-obsession
Eight years, self-destruction

credits

from I, released March 28, 2019

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about

Blasé Blue image

Blasé Blue Boston, Massachusetts

Moody punk for prudes and drunks.

Brendan
Jason
Mike
Sam

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